Somewhere between excited and coward…

Somewhere between excited and reluctant to leave, I sit here a liar and a coward.

This Sunday I get to scoop up my Catie upon my arrival in San Diego. The Catie, Emma, and Bridget pieces of my heart are elated. But the Maddie piece of it is crying out, “what about meeeeeeeeee?”

The piece of me that is walking around in this world is excited to spend time with her grandma while mommy is “at work.” And that is how I become a liar and a coward. I’m not telling Maddie that I am flying across the country to spend time with her cousins and auntie. I feel like I’m betraying her and going to play mommy to someone else’s kids. How do you explain that to a three-year old?

So instead I put her in the loving arms of her Grandma and leave her in the loving care of her Daddy. But they aren’t mommy.

She needs her mommy, right?

But Catie, at 12,  needs some Aunt Kim love as she puts up her walls and tries to be strong. And Emma, at 10, needs some Aunt Kim love as her life falls apart at the seams. And Bridget, at 4, needs some Aunt Kim love because, well, she just wants some Aunt Kim love.

Aunt Kim can help make things seem like they aren’t really changing so much. I can help them feel like they are the center of someone’s world. I can hug them and love them, and give them tickles, and bring some fun to their rapidly changing life right now.

And Maddie, she’ll be loved with abandon for five straight days. Even if it isn’t mommy. She’ll be at the center of someone’s world too.

Everyone wins.




3 thoughts on “Somewhere between excited and coward…

  1. Maddie will be fine, as you know. Don’t feel bad for lying – she’s three. I lie to my kids all the time. 🙂 Enjoy the time with your family – you deserve it.

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