So I got emotional in a meeting yesterday. It doesn’t happen often, okay, never. I typically have a steely resolve when it comes to holding in feelings. I am champion of the carefully constructed house of cards. But we all know it takes just one wrong move and it all comes tumbling down. I’m always surprised by the small thing that starts to topple my towering emotions. Yesterday it was remembering a feeling of being overwhelmed. Four. Months. Ago.
Then I got in my car and started to catch up on the day. My small thing was replaced by a very large thing. Having had a busy day I was blissfully unaware of yet another attack on humanity. Every single minute across the world, people are hurt. By themselves or by others. No matter the number, no matter how severe, they are all equal. I typically live like most people, in ignorant bliss. It’s one of those carefully constructed houses again. I think we all do it. I’m not proud of it. As a member of humanity, I should most certainly be more outraged at the gross injustice that takes place in this world.
Yesterday, my husband and I took turns catching up the most recent horror to slap us in the face and remind us to be outraged. Keeping Maddie in her cocoon of safety and maintainting her naivety to the world’s faults was a priority. So we splashed puddles in our bare feet, we ate ice cream, we played the matching game and then we played it again. We read 4 books at bedtime instead of 2. We gave extra hugs and blew extra kisses at the door. And then we snuck in to hold each other and watch her sleep and thank everything that is good in this world that we were able to do so that night.
I was emotional all night. I am still so this morning. But as I stare at my husband, my daughter, and as I think of all that is good in my world and I see all that IS good in this world, even in the face of this tragedy, and I hold onto hope.
Hope for the future.
Hope that my daughter will grow up in a world where the good people far outweigh the bad.