There are times of the year that strike you below the gut and take your breath away. Fall has not been historically kind to me and mine. Heartbreak in the fall that leads into the holiday season is the worst. It’s that simple: the worst. Coupled with a lot of changes everywhere and a bit of feeling lost and I’ve reached out and requested some pep talks (demanded some may be slightly more accurate). We all need some love right?
They’ve arrived in familiar fashion:
From my dear husband:
“You can do it!”
(4 words characteristically typed in a speedy fashion – he’s not much for words)
From my loving momma:
“Okay, here goes” she types out
“Mom, I want to teach 1st Grade, it’s all I want.” Then “Mom, I got offered 3rd Grade, I don’t know how to do 3rd Grade.” And what did I say? “There is a reason for things and you were chosen to do 3rd Grade, and look at the progress you made with all those kids. Now, you were chosen to do this, anything new takes some getting “used to”, but you know your stuff. Be confident. Smooches.”
(No idea the number of words- maybe you’d like to count- I didn’t need to)
I find myself walking a bit taller, feeling bolstered by the love and support of the people I hold closest to my heart. But still, that nagging feeling simmers just below the surface.
And then this:
From my peanut:
“Mommy you make me happy when you smile. When you don’t, it makes me sad.”
(15 words- which I know only because I keep repeating them to myself over and over and over and over again)
What matters most in this Fall into Winter gloom, is the happiness I can bring to that little heart- which is a part of my bigger heart- which is a part of this heart and that heart and so many more.
Everything else falls away and I find myself…smiling.