The Black Bar of Faux Pas

I seem to be surrounded by capable moms. You know who they are: they’re the ones that come sailing through with their capes floating in the breeze. The ones whose children never act out, always eat their veggies, take two baths a day, have five toys (made in the good ol’ US of A), watch their allotted twenty-one minutes of television a day, and sleep like a champ every single night.  They’re the ones who juggle work and mommahood like they were born to do so. They schedule play dates, always know where the library book is, and manage to get their kid to at least three enrichment classes. These moms are what many of us are presented with as the ideal. These are the children that will make something of themselves. And I am sure that they will. In French no less.

And then there’s me. At least me and how I feel on most days that is.

If I sported a cape- it would undoubtedly get caught in the door on my way out. I have a time out spot in my house, have to sneak veggies and ultimately have her find them and not eat anything, fight for bath time a few times a week, am buried in toys (mostly made in China), and get called awake at the crack of dawn. We don’t do play dates. We play with our cousins. The library book could be buried in any given pile and we do ballet. Because it’s a part of her school day.

So. Now we’ve established that on most days you’d see me in the parenting magazine du jour, on the don’ts page with the requisite black bar of faux pas across my face.

But you know what, black bar of faux pas?

My girl has a gigantic heart.
My girl is patient and kind.
My girl has besties, and her besties have her.
My girl has her best ideas at night playing in her bed.
My girl has an imagination to rival anyone.
My girl can make decisions and feel good about them.
My girl speaks the language of being human.
My girl takes her vitamins like a champ.
My girl is a five-year old that likes goulash, sushi, ribs, and burritos.
My girl gives the best hugs and is a cuddle master.
My girl creates masterpieces of song, text, and pictures.
My girl has the best comedic timing.

I think I am going to wear my black bar with pride and me and my girl are going to do just fine.

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12 thoughts on “The Black Bar of Faux Pas

  1. YOu are a fantastic writer that I genuinely enjoy reading! I feel that way and my kid isn’t even walking yet (which causes concern when I see other babies who are younger that walk). This is relatable and enjoyable! Keep on truckin’!

  2. This post made me laugh. The thing is…for every parent you’re thinking has it all together, there are probably twice as many looking at you thinking the same thing. And hey…I almost just broke my tooth on a lego I thought was popcorn…all while typing this comment! You’re doing a great job, Mom!

  3. The next time you actually see that mother with the cape, take a picture of her for me. I don’t believe she really exists except in our desire to be the best mother we can. We are our own worst critics when it comes to parenting. Reflecting on it as you did here with a sense of humor proves you’re a success. She’s lucky to have you!

  4. Oh those Moms that seem to be able to do it all. I’m sure they have there problems, but are just good at hiding them. It sounds like your child will have a “normal” childhood rather than being book solid with play dates and enrichment classes.

  5. Great slice Kim! I like the description of a mom in a cape because it’s just as you describe which is fiction! Too many moms are not honest with each other, creating a false sense of motherhood perfection. There is no right way to parent and even us moms are human, though sometimes we accomplish some pretty superhuman tasks and work in superhuman ways! 🙂 you are doing an amazing job. Yay to a hard-working mom!

  6. Kim, I too wear the Black Bar proudly. You really are a great mom and your little girl is lucky to have you! Also, your little girl’s bestie loves her to pieces and cannot wait to see her everyday! Thank you for raising such a sweet little girl who loves mine!

  7. Choosing not to fill up our child’s time with play dates and activities is a gift that you are offering your child. And your modeling of balance in a busy life will go a long way.

  8. Black bar? Hahahaha. That’s clever. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen one of those magazines but the feeling is right on. It’s hard all around. The cape is an illusion but if you see her, choke her for us all!

  9. Ha ha Kim, this was awesome!! Funny and relatable on so many levels. Of course, you should wear your black bar with pride, you’re an absolutely wonderful mother, and as far as the moms with their capes floating in the breeze, well…..I agree with Brittany! 🙂

  10. You write about the things that really matter here. In fact, it’s those qualities that aren’t always easily seen on the surface – that are deep down – that matter and those aren’t represented by play dates and a sparkling house. Love. That’s what matters. Maddie has that from you and for you. That’s all that matters.

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