It’s new. It’s shiny. It’s sparkly. It’s horrible!
The old standby was broken in to the point of lived in comfortableness. It was lovely, even if it was a bit worn and rusted and starting to show its age. I took a picture of it as the salesman drove it away, while sitting in my “smells like new car” acquisition. Something to hold on to.
It’s been a few weeks and we are slowly trying to break in the new. Keeping in mind that this one is on loan so it can never quite reach the level of broken in that the old standby was able to achieve. We pinky swore and crossed our heart to the Mr. that we would be more careful, more neat, more cautious this time around. (Despite our argument that after 12 years the old standby turned out just fine. )
The old stand by was a little like a closet and refrigerator. We could outfit or feed anyone.
There are a few sweaters for when it gets cold and a container of cookies for snacky emergencies on the floor of the new.
The old stand by had creased, somewhat stained, accidentally glued upholstery.
There is a sprinkling of glitter from our sparkly princess scattered across the backseat of the new.
The old standby was lived in.
There is nothing but nice clean floor in the back of the new.
The old standby had a butterfly for wishes hanging from the rearview and a black bat for smiles in the window.
So does the new.
I think we are doing okay.
The back to school hustle and bustle is in full swing in our house. Mom is back to work. Maddie is back to school. Dad’s work hours are back to non summer dredge. I come to work with a ring, necklace, and bracelet all loaded up with kisses for the long day. Maddie does the same. This is something new. Something to help us get through all the other something news that are weighing us down.
New district, new school, new bus, new teachers, new kids, new before care, new routines. That’s a lot of new for my just turned 6-year-old. The weight of all that new makes me worried for her heart. You see, it’s breaking a little bit under that big load.
It starts at bedtime. The worried creases around her eyes and the vehement insistence that school is the bees knees. It’s that new daycare that is causing the trouble. So lots of hugs and reassurances and what can you do to make friends there? She finally settles after a while, holding on to the now worn Sadness from Inside Out, because she is definitely that.
It continues in the morning. The worried creases around her eyes are starting to become a permanent fixture here on day five of the new year. She walks around the house with feet that seem to weigh a thousand pounds. That timid voice trying to whisper through the tears about how she doesn’t want to go.
The ride to daycare is punctuated with little gulps and gasps and the angel at the door, despite her most loving of efforts, has little effect on the sadness holding on that just won’t let go. A big hug and a big kiss from mommy and out the door I go, wishing I had my own little Sadness to hold on to.
I drive to work with my special heart ring, chunky plastic heart necklace, and matching bracelet and I think I use up all the kisses before I even arrive.