How Surgery and Recovery Turn You Into a Toddler

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You are wobbly. 

People open everything before they hand it to you. 

If someone hands you a water bottle they hold the cap and take the bottle back after  you take a few sips. 

You get asked if you are hungry every 20 minutes (you are not). 

When you are hungry no one asks and so you get a little whiny.  

You can’t see the food in the kitchen so your caretaker gets to run through 47 options before you decide what you want which requires a trip to the store because it isn’t one of the 178 items available for consumption. 

Someone has to help you to the bathroom and your bathroom habits become a hot topic. 

For a while you get to drink with a straw. You get excited when it’s a color you like. 

You don’t pick up after yourself. Instead you make a pile and wait for someone to come sweep it away. 

You get irrationally jealous about what might be happening in another room that you might be missing out on. 

The grownups around you start talking about you as if you weren’t there. 

Your impatience grows ten fold because you have to wait. For. Everything. 

Dealing with your emotions is like walking a tightrope. The slightest wobble sends you into a tear laden panic. 

Your concept of time revolves around where you are going next.

All in all, it’s not so bad.

Mobility is over rated. That’s what I keep telling myself and me is always right.

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9 thoughts on “How Surgery and Recovery Turn You Into a Toddler

  1. I don’t know whether to feel sympathy or jealousy right now! Everything you write here has two sides, right? The good and the bad. Ultimately we want to be able to take care of ourselves and have that mobility you try to pass off as unimportant. Much of what you write is just plain funny! The straw comment in particular made me LOL. The other parts, well, I can hear your frustration and tongue-in-cheek sarcasm (that you do oh-so-well). Our bodies strive to be whole and functional. You will get there. Patience. Patience my friend.

  2. At first I was laughing and then I started feeling frustrated! This is just like anything else- you have your good days and your bad. I hope your recovery is going well!

  3. You have established a great tone for drawing your reader in with humor to discuss something very serious. Hang in there. Like with toddlers, you will heal/grow out of this awkward time.

  4. Kim, this is so funny. And sad. Your comparisons, albeit humorous, are spot on. Makes me think about all the ways my father’s life changed after his stroke. Any way, your slice has a happy ending- recovery! So you’re right: “All in all, it’s not so bad.”

  5. Goodness, what an awesome slice! I could visualize a toddler, with an adult’s mind going through all of those things! I can only imagine the frustrations that you must be going through, so I’m sending you some healing thoughts and thanks that you’ve kept a great perspective! 🙂

  6. OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! You never cease to amaze me with the creative ways you manage find humor in the midst of difficult situations.. (I’m sorry, I know this is frustrating, but I still found myself smiling throughout your entire post). You have a flare. Sending more healing hugs your way….not that you need them. From your slice I can tell you are pretty well loved.

  7. Wow, this is a powerful slice. You have a great sense of humor while showing your frustration. I truly hope you are back on your feet soon.

  8. Oh Kim, you make me want to come over and sit with you! But as much as I want to feel bad for you (and believe me I feel terrible for you) I can’t help but giggle at the way you compared your situation to a toddler. I love that you have the sense of humor to make fun of yourself and your situation. Thanks for allowing us to laugh with you!

  9. As I was sipping my coffee this morning your post put a big smile on my face. Laughing at the situations we find ourselves in truly helps. For some reason I pictured you ringing a little silver bell saying ” Hey! I’m still here. Bring me in the other room guys. I want to play too!” Hope the recovery is going well. : )

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