In Circulation

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“A place for everything and everything in its place.” Benjamin Franklin

Unless it is in circulation.

It starts out innocently enough.

“Honey, do you know where the scissors are?”

“What happened to the tweezers?”

“Oh,  @#$%^. They’re in circulation aren’t they?”

This could be how we have acquired backups for the backups of such things as tweezers, scissors of all sizes, sippy cups, and hair brushes, among other things.

You see, to put said item back in its place, requires you to take yourself to that place. Sometimes that is just too difficult, tiring, far, (insert your reason excuse here). Sometimes you just feel like fighting back. Can’t let the man get you down and all that.

We’ve got a system now to handle the issue. When you come across a place that is missing its everything, you ask the other person in the house, have you seen (insert item here)?

That child or husband will of course say no. Or if it is mom, may on occasion, walk you over to the corner of the counter under that pile of first grade masterpieces, loaf of bread, and collection of mismatched socks to the exact location of the tweezers. Never mind that they are in the farthest possible corner from their proper place.

If the item cannot be found first hand, never fear. Your eyebrows will not grow undaunted. There are always the baskets to check. There is one on the stairs for books, could be in there. There is one on the dresser for hair stuff, could be in there. There is one under the bathroom sink, could be in there. Wait. That is the original place. Won’t be there.

These two exclusive patent pending strategies almost always turn up the missing item. We’ve been using this system for as long as I can remember (or 2004).  Our items have always gotten cut, eyebrows tweezed, hair brushed and secured. That, my friends, is because my husband refuses to abide by the system. Bless his heart, he does not like things being in circulation. He is good old Ben reincarnated and my random basket locating system kind of makes his skin crawl.

You see, I discovered just recently that my dearest has been there to save the day far more often than I can count.

Say I need (insert item) and I cannot find it. I ask. He says no, he hasn’t seen them. He walks away. I check the baskets. No dice. He appears magically with whatever I am looking for. Then proceeds to watch over me like I’m a two-year old who is prone to eating random objects.

I mostly thought it was to ensure that he could return the item to its rightful place. You know, a place for everything and everything in its place. Blah, blah, blah.  He is the keeper of the places,I told myself.

In reality, in an effort to avoid all items in circulation, he pulls things from a secret stash that he keeps hidden like a prisoner hiding contraband.

It has taken me a little while to get over the initial anger I felt to uncover how little faith he really has in my system of places. It hurt.

But not as bad as it hurt him that I have found most of his secret stashes.

Welcome to system three.

It’s sure to be successful. 🙂

 

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11 thoughts on “In Circulation

  1. I’m on team Ben. I don’t like clutter or having things out of place–unless I’m the one making the mess. I was shocked to discover that most stuff “in circulation” got that way because of me; I realized this when my kids grew up and moved out. And I’m inconsistent about keeping track of stuff. It’s hard when books are everywhere!

  2. I am the keeper of all things in my house. I don’t have secret stashes though. I may steal that idea. I somehow manage to have a photographic memory of where everything was left….even when I’m not in the room. I love how this piece made me laugh out loud because it sounds like what happens around here.

  3. What a great look into everyone’s house who has someone else living there! This happens multiple times a day in my house. Thanks for sharing that scene so eloquently!

  4. Oh! How I can relate!!!! I am the Keeper-of-the-Crap! My husband will call me at work and ask me where something is. In my head I am sarcastically thinking, “Sure. Let me just pause in my teaching of all of my fourth graders to let you know where something is…”
    I laughed out loud reading your post! Awesome!

  5. This is a timely post for me……we, my daughter and I, are working oh, so hard on this. Loved this, it made me laugh…..a lot!!

  6. Hah! Every time I see a pair of scissors in the store, I buy them. There are probably around 6 pair hanging around our house somewhere. We are still working on a system – love that hubby took matters into his own hands!

  7. Having a system is the place to start–making it work is a whole ‘nother dealy bob! I am a freak about the refrigerator. Everything has a place–just put the stuff back in the correct place. I have been tempted to use a sharpie to outline items and write the name on the spot so that things would be put back where they came from.

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