“You’re laughing more.”
“You seem so happy.”
“You’re a better mom.”
Statements like that should make you feel proud. You should be standing tall. Those are three things everyone strives for right? Instead, they feel like punches to your gut.
Any working mom knows the drudgery that can become your routine if you are not careful, and sometimes even if you are. The get up to the morning rush followed by the crush of constant questioning, managing, and doing. Home and work. Work and home. Children and Husband. Husband and children. Family and friends. Friends and Family. Everyone is jockeying to be the front-runner.
So when one thing is removed from the equation, you get to concentrate on the others. Anyone with a betting soul is going to say that increases the odds for success. Except odds don’t take in account the person.
A person who loves being a mom, a friend, a daughter, a wife, a teacher, a coach. So bench one of those for a while and the others get more playing time. That’s how you become a better mom. That’s how you seem happier. That’s why you’re laughing more. It’s a dizzying experience. You get heady thinking about what could be.
But you have to go back. You have to join the masses that are forever searching for the balance between work and home and family and friends. You have to find the happiness in the crush. And when you experience those fleeting moments when it feels like you have achieved some measure of balance, hold on tight.
Your daughter tells you that she’s sad you are going back to work because it means you’ll have less time and won’t be at the bus stop everyday, but in the next breath, says how happy she is that you’re going back to work because she knows you miss your friends and now you get to take her to school again.
Back to the balancing act. It’s achievable. The six-year-old is on her way to getting it. I suppose her momma can figure it out too.