We should have first suspected something when Maddie asked for a life-size doll on her Christmas list. Our radars definitely should have bleeped when she starting taking said life-size doll around with her. Everywhere. Dressed every morning. Nightgowned every evening. Belted into the car. Sitting at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Participating in all our fun “we are on break” moments. But I am a mom. My mind is busy, filled with all sorts of stuff. Then we went back to school and my mind imploded with work. So you’ll have to pardon my complete disregard for the moment that was destined to come out of all of this.
“Mommy, we are going to name the baby Millie,” she says to me as she flies past with life-size Elsa to the basement.
ummmm…okay. Ramblings of an imaginative five-year old. Okeedokee.
“Daddy, we’re going to have a baby and we are going to name her Millie. She is going to be a sister so she needs a girl’s name.” (interestingly enough, I have never seen a face as pale as his or a mouth as wide open)
This cues a lovely sit down conversation with both of us trying to keep up with her excitement as she insists that I am going to have a baby (I am not) it is going to be a girl (it is not…no baby) and we are going to name her Millie (we will not) complete with illustrations and one hell of a convincing argument that has nothing to do with my cookie expanded waistline, thank you very much.
So after I excuse myself to commence a new 5,000 crunches a day discipline, we manage to convince her that I am not having a baby and that someday maybe we will and that when that day comes, if it is indeed a girl, we may consider naming her Millie. We didn’t have the heart to crush her naming dreams just yet.
“Okay, mommy and daddy.”
We take a deep breath of relief, move on with our lives minus the 5,000 crunches, and part ways completely confident that this matter has been taken care of. All participants have been briefed and updated to current situations. Or lack thereof.
And then as all good kindergarteners do, during a read aloud in class, my lovely daughter raises her hand to tell her teacher (whom I work with) and her 27 classmates (who all know me as Maddie’s mom AND the Reading teacher) the most exciting news that has nothing at all to do with the book that is being read.
“My mommy is going to have a baby and we are going to name it Millie!”
I think I see a conversation in my very near future. I best prepare my own drawings and illustrations and quite possibly start those crunches….
Live, Love, Teach 
Hilarious, Kim!!!!!! So, so funny. I just love a morning break that includes hilarious writing. You made my day. 🙂
I’m dying over here. I mean, first of all, your cookie expanded waistline? Stop. And, Millie??? Millie??? If you do, please don’t. And finally, I can’t believe she told her class that!! I can’t stop laughing.
This is so well-written so well I love the self-depri
Funny! The things they say… loved your sense of humor throughout this slice!
I work with 4 and 5 year olds, their ability to command their world can make me breathless! – with laughter and frustration!!
Oh, Kim, you had me laughing … I knew what was coming! So funny to think what these 5 year old have going through their minds! Love your humor sprinkled through out the slice too. How are those 5,000 crunches going for ya?
By the way, my twin 4 and a half year old daughters wanted that life size Elsa doll too. I wasn’t going there (because of course we’d have to get two!?!) … and I have reason enough right here why that was a great decision on our part! Thank you!