I Don’t Want to

I don’t want to get up early and have an endlessly long day.
That’s nothing compared to the countless sleepless nights she’s had, resulting in tired mornings and long days.

I don’t want to sit in the uncomfortable waiting room chair for hours on end.
That’s nothing compared to her laying on a cold table for hours on end.

I don’t want to miss work and have to offer excuses to co-workers for my absence.
That’s nothing compared to her going to work and consuming the sadness of her colleagues, her friends.

I don’t want to sit through those doctor speak conversations throughout the day .
That’s nothing compared to the constant barrage of medical communications she has had.

But I’m scared.
And so is she.

But I don’t want to think about the future, minus her.
And neither does she.

But it’s not fair, I cry.
And so does she.

But I don’t want to.
And neither does she.

But I need her.
And she needs me.

So I don’t want to.
But I will.

For her.

 

 

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25 thoughts on “I Don’t Want to

  1. Oh Kim, my heart aches, for you, for her…..This slice was painful to read. The emotion is so strong it’s as though it’s bleeding. I am praying for both of you!! ❤ Hugs my friend!!

  2. This slice makes me blue. I had to comment again because I simply cannot shake the feeling. You know your writing is good when it grabs on to someone and won’t let go. That is what this slice is like for me.

  3. What a beautiful structure to express how you’re feeling right now and this week. Hugs, kisses, prayers and positive thoughts to you and to her. Watching our loved ones go through this is the worst kind of pain. There are better days ahead. There are.

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