It’s hard to be six. It’s especially hard to be six after having two glorious weeks off of school. It’s tremendously hard to be six when you are torn between your love of school and your desire to sink into the corner of the couch each morning and stay there. Let’s take a walk through the five stages of returning to school for a six-year-old just like this. You may even have one yourself.
Monday Morning: The Crying Stage
This stage came as no surprise. Although I was taken aback by its early arrival; I had not expected it until at least Wednesday. These tears are large and crocodilian. And they have nothing to do with but everything to do with returning to school. Your cups don’t match? That’s worth at least a few tears. Your tablet is upstairs and you are already downstairs? Certainly warrants some waterworks. The neighbors taking down their inflatable penguin though. Now that was what really cracked open the damn. Passerby may have thought I just told her Santa was not real. I missed my tinted windows.
Tuesday Morning: The Silent Anger Stage
Ah. This one I am familiar with. Seems the mom in every house that is lucky enough to have spawned a daughter knows of this stage. It comes out of nowhere and you are left standing there trying to determine where things went wrong. Unlucky for me, my transgression was simply rising the beast. It was indeed the quietest of the mornings and I quite enjoyed it. Minus the death stare.
Wednesday Morning-: The Whining Stage
I am always amazed at a child’s uncanny ability to sound just like a low-toned squeaky door. Unfortunately, it grates on my psyche and there is now a Charlie Brown “wah, wah,wah” effect to be had. Pants are too tight. Underwear is bunched up. There is a crease in the bottom of said pants. My tablet is upstairs and I am downstairs (coincidentally the same triggers are resulting in different reactions. Be aware.) The stuffed animal I want to bring does not fit in my backpack with my shoes in it so I need to not wear shoes today so I can bring this stuffed animal because I have to have this stuffed animal or you might see the Crying Stage again. I seek out some very strong coffee before even leaving the house during this stage.
Thursday Morning: The I’m So Tired Stage
I know I’m in for this stage when upon entering the room, on tiptoe, she rolls over and groans and manages to bury herself so deep into stuffed animals that you can’t quite make out where they end and she begins. Some toe tapping, I’ll be back in five minutes, get out of bed this instant young lady threats later, the creature from the tired lagoon rises and boy do those legs weigh about a thousand pounds as she walks down the hall. This joy of all joys continues and as long as you are prepared to be late to work, you will get out of the house. I need to find a quiet secure place to scream at the top of my lungs.
Friday Morning: The Hello Sybil Stage
It’s the last day of the week. Two days off loom over our heads like a glorious resplendent rainbow. I get to wake up the most pleasant all things coming up roses child you have ever met. I look around often on this day to see if I am being Punk’d. She gets herself ready for school, chooses a cheery outfit, and is ready and waiting at the door to get this show on the road. There is some lovely conversation during the ride to school. All about the weekend and the fun that will be had. I should have an extra pep in my step during this stage. But after the week of Sybil, I am afraid of who I will meet next.