A day off for all three of us. Go figure the rest of the known universe was also off and lo and behold, everyone decided to descend upon the same movie theater.
Timing didn’t work out (should have been my first clue) so we ended up at a different theater than our usual haunt. We should have just called it a day and stayed home. Alas, we did not.
Oh, that movie you advertised as standard is really in 3D? No thank you. We came at this time on purpose, believe it or not. We do not want 3D. Yes, we are sure. See you in an hour.
Oh, you didn’t know that Election Day equals a holiday for most of the suburban schools where you are located? No worries. A line of 37 people long to get that promised popcorn is a breeze.
Oh, hey there mom with your nefarious brood squeezing through the line? I see you chose not to notice the crutches and the giant brace taking up the space of one person. Please. Feel free to knock me over and tell me to get out of your way. Really. My bad.
Oh, hi small theater space already filled up 20 minutes before the movie starts. This one might actually be on us. But didn’t realize we needed to be seated. With small children. 45 minutes before the movie starts. We will enjoy the view from those seats no one ever sits in because the view is skewed and the sound is deafening. It’s all good.
Oh, hello Icee the size of my daughter’s head. Seems that the establishment from which you came does not believe in the white cherry Icee that every other theater in the state serves. Your bright red color is sure to give me stain removing duties later. Let’s do this.
Oh, hi there movie that is all the rage. (I fully realize this is not the fault of the theater or its clientele but this crazy train has left the station, so hang on) You weren’t really that funny. You tried to teach a lesson, which is admirable. Which you wove into the whole premise of the movie through incessant dialogue, the opposite of admirable.
Could be I need an attitude adjustment.
But I know for sure that we will be going back to our accurately listed time having, large theater space rocking, white cherry Icee serving, kind clientele milling theater next time.
Live, Love, Teach 
Sorry about your bad day. Thanks for taking me through it step by step.
Sorry you had a bad day, but love how you wrote about it. I could totally feel your frustrations.
“but this crazy train has left the station, so hang on” HA! Love your sarcasm in the piece 🙂 Sounds like a nightmare!
I appreciate your rant and love how you used such creative language. My rants seem to be a bit more dry. I will have to try that next time.
Great sarcasm in this piece!
I sometimes feel the promise of a day off usually is rewarded with a rotten day. I feel your pain, for sure! (Also, I love the little worm on the side of your blog!)
Oh, I am so sorry……sounds like one of those days where you wished you’d stayed in bed. Creatively written, I could definitely feel your frustration.
The humor in this was ON FIRE! I can just see you making faces at all this stuff – too funny! I can’t believe people were just pushing by you when you were standing there with your crutches and your boot! 😦 Meanies!!!
I couldn’t stop reading this and I want more! The mixing of rant and humor is perfection…I felt like I was right there with you- I hope there were no cherry stains!!!!!!
I was stressed thinking about the red stain removing duty later! Great job making your readers smile a bit at the very frustrating movie experience.