Morning Slip and Slide

We have creaky hardwood floors. 

This prevents us from freely walking to the bathroom in the early morning hours lest we wake up the already early riser.  

This leaves two choices: Hold it, or slip and slide. 

If you slide out of bed and slip across the floor to the doorway along the wall, you’re golden. 

Slide over to the opposite wall down the hall, slipping just under and past the photos on the wall. 

Stop at the end of the hall and slowly take one big arching slide across the threshold. 

It’s a dance that anyone with night vision goggles would find highly entertaining. 9 out of 10 times you achieve zero creaks. 

This morning a few choice words and a very soft but not soft enough request to turn on the light cut the jugular of my effort. 

I slipped and slid like a master. 

It’s just that the cat and her hairball got there first.