If I could bring you back to visit, just for a day, what would I need to show you? Where would we need to go? We’d have so much to talk about. Would we start with us three? So much time to cover, more than ten years. Could we get out all we needed you to know? You already know I bet. You’ve been there even if you haven’t.
Your little girls are big girls and there are five more for you to meet. You’d be so proud to see them. I know you know that they shine. But to see them, talk to them, hold them. I know how much you’d love that. I know how much they would. They know of you and talk to you. I think you talk back sometimes. The little smiles and whispers that hit those moments tell me so.
I might decide to be selfish and keep you to ourselves. To watch you with your littlest. You’d tower over her and she’d climb right up to nestle in your arms. She’d probably make you play with some Barbies and I know you’d love every second of it. She’ll want you to stay, and it’ll be hard to explain to her little heart why that can’t be so. But it’ll be worth it. You’ll make that hole she has missing you a little smaller in just that one day.
I know you’ll have places to see and almost all of them remain unchanged. You can go on your own, but we’d love to come with. There are so many things we could ask so that we see what you’ve always seen but not expressed whenever we are in those places.
I know you’ll need to see her. I’m not sure she’s ready so you’ll need to put that gentle giantness away for a bit and be bossy. You remember how to do that? She’s been so tough and we’ve needed her so. But boy does she miss you. You can make her heart whole again for a little while.
So on second thought, you’re just going to have to stay. It’s been a long time and we need you. I’m sure you’ve got some pull. We’re having a harder and harder time hearing your voice and you remember how loud you were? That’s just not right.
You’re so far away. Come a little closer. Just for a day. Or you know, forever.
Live, Love, Teach 
My heart is broken. You had me from the first word. My loss took place 39 years ago but reading your slice makes me feel like it just happened yesterday. I feel the pain that you feel, as well as my own. “I know that you know that they shine.” Just one of the many beautiful lines you’ve written here.
This is just beautiful – such love, loss, acceptance.
So beautiful, so true…thank you.
Your post as touched me more than can I say. My lost happened 5 years ago. One more day seems like we would be able to get out a lot of thoughts and emotions we have been holding on too. While reading your post I could picture him playing with barbies and being so caring. I can’t imagine the struggle it is for your little girl. I always imagine what I would want to do with one more day, but that one more day never seems like it would be enough. Continue to be strong and cherish your memories and let his memory stay alive.
It’ so difficult to embrace pain…to embrace the uncertainty that follows. I hope your family has begun to see the rainbow again, because it sounds as though you’ve gotten too much rain…
Your writing is like a poem and it will stay in my heart, thanks for sharing.
Ps I love your blog background!!!
You’ve been there even if you haven’t. I love that line. This piece was a hard one to read. I can feel your sadness, and it’s heart breaking.
So touching. Your post is relatable for everyone and is beautiful. If only they could come back and stay forever.
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